I am at a very strange place right now... Parts of it are dark, and haunting. Parts of it are illuminated with brilliantly blinding rays of light the out shine everything else in this world. The sontrast between these two states is so striking that it alarms me, but in a way, I want to embrace it.
The happier aspects of my life revolve solely around Drama. My course and Dramat, in particular. I have felt myself beginning to be accepted with Dramat. the play I directed went down very well and when I express interest in being part of the Dramat committee, present committee members seem pretty enthusiastic about it. Also, I have put forward an idea to have a UCC soap opera, which upon first discussion was enthusiastically recieved. I have made numerous plans for this, and am very excited about it. Furthermore, my writing has continued. At this stage, I have roughly 12 pages written, of what I consider to be an acceptable standard. I preformed a small piece of it at the Dramat forum tonight and it was greeted with much laughter and enthusiasm. This has driven me to continue writing. I hope to finish it sometime soon so that it may be performed next year through Dramat. How exciting would that be? Very exciting, reader. Very exciting.
On the darker side of things... I find I am being very critical of myself lately. Negatively critical. This is most definitely a result of external stimuli and certain events that have prompted me to realise that I am not the person that I thought I was, or that many people percieve me to be. I work too much on keeping up appearances. The truth is, if the true me was to surface and expose itself, then many people would certain turn their backs on me. And I find myself embracing this dark side of me more and more. I want it to flourish, but only to the extent which I still have control over it. It scares me, but also excites me at the same time. It sends me to dark places of my mind that I never knew existed. But, as a classmate told me, "imagine what these emotions are doing for your acting"
As for New Years Resolutions, they are going well enough.
Writing has been maintained.
Fruit eating has been more or less daily.
Reading has fallen behind a little bit.
Going to the gym has gone ou the window, but we are doing Yoga and stuff in Drama so this sort of compensates.
I would also like to say a great big Fuck You to all of you reading this that have ever lied to me. I am sure I did not deserve these lies, and even if you thought they were for my beneift, they weren't. Lies are for nobodies benefit, only the liar's.
Ciao.